my 2am journal entires need to stop.
" someone mentioned his name today and I smiled a little and then I didn’t smile at all. Because I wasn’t sure whether I should be smiling or not. I was thinking over everything but at the same time i wasn’t thinking of anything except him. I wasn’t sure whether I was feeling okay but at the same time I felt so lively. I was going insane but maybe I liked it like that. I liked being a little insane. Nothing I did or said was making sense. Everything is utter bullshit without him. I’m not even sure of I miss him or I just miss him being here. Those are two different things but they seem so closely related it’s messing with my mind. “
when I say everyone is beautiful, it’s just my way of trying to tell myself that I’m not ugly
it was a really good day today x